Sunday, January 13, 2008

10 COMMANDMENTS FOR HUSBAND

A Successful marriage is one whee relationship are balanced - where husbands love their wives and wives respect and work in cooperation with teir husbands, fulfilling God's plan for their lives.

1. KEEP YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT

Commandment number one: Thou shalt make the building of thy home thy first business. Your home, men, is more important than your business, than your friends and associates. But often by our actions, our home and family comes pretty far down the list of unwritten priorities in life.

Are you like the president of an insurance company who once told me, "When it comes to business I've been quite successful. There are 2,000 employees in my company for whom I am directly responsible but when it comes to my home and family, I'm afraid that I have been a miserable failure." William Lyon Phelps had this truth in mind when he wrote these Every man who is happily married is a successful man even if he has failed in everything else."

Our hindsight is so better than our foresight. Too often we see our mistakes too late to correct them. We've come too close to the brink to avoid disaster. Our life flashes before us, too late to swerve to avoid the head-on collision with disaster. Or is there hope?

Men, let me share with you a little slogan that may help you decide when you feel conflict between your home and family and your business. It's this: Duties do not conflict in the will of God. There is only one right thing to do! Your responsibility to your family shouln't be in conflict with the oblogation to yur employer, but there are times when you have to say, "No!" So the real question is, "What comes first? Which is my responsibility at this moment?"

2. MEET YOUR WIFE'S NEEDS

Following the importance of keeping your priorities straight comes commandments number two: Thou shalt remember that thy wife halt need of more than food, clothing and shelter. When I ask men to make a list of their wives' needs, the first three item usually listed are food, clothes - (as husbandsay to himself, "Yeah, and she's got a closet full of 'em too"), and a roof over her head.

But what about emotional needs? The ness for companionship, the need for a friend. "I know my husband loves me," said an acquaintance, "but we are not very good friends." Why? Her husband as the head of a large organization was gone a great deal, and when he was home, he had a multitude of things on his mind.

"If any man," wrote Apostle Paul,"provides not for his own(including his wife!) ans specially for those of his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an infidel" (!Tim. 5:8). Strong words of counsel.

3. DON'T TAKE YOUR WIFE FOR GRANTED

The third commandmant for husband is the shortest in term of lenght, but one of the most enduring in term of lasting results. It is this: Thou shalt not take your wife for granted. A few years ago Irving Berlin penned the nostalgic words of the popular song which was often sung at weddings:" I'll be loving you always, with a love that's true, always...."Bing Crosby used to croon the words and hearts went "Whoosh!" with sentimentality.

But no matter how touching the words are, they just are not true. Love in our human relationship is not eternal, and 1 corithians which says"Love never fails" doesn't say that love is eternal. Love that you have in your heart for someone can endure for eternity, but love can be killed. Ask any judge who hears cases involving domestic affairs if love is eternal and he'll tell you that love can be destroyed. Love must be kept alive, day by day by day. Acts of kindness and thoughtfulness say, "I don't take you for granted. I still love you. See?"

4. MAKE YOUR WIFE A PARTNER

Commandment number four: Thou shalt not think thy business is none of thy wife's business. Remember your wife is your partner, not your property. A man who starts out with that attitude is well on the road to happiness in marriage.Listen, men, you're in a partnership called marriage. If you joined the Coronary Club and took a one-way trip to the mortuary, your wife would not only be hearthbroken, but would put a terrible hardship for them and financial loss by "not wanting to burden them with money matters," as they had considered it. If you own a carand pay taxes, you ought to have a will.Your wife deserves to know! If you own even a small piece of property, you need to get legal advice on how it should be titled. If you have any kind of an estate, you need sound advice so that in the event of a death, it doesn't all go to sharp attorneys and legal expenses.

I'm convinces that it takes nothing less than a 100 percent commitment to each other if your marriage is to be a real success.

5. DON'T SQUEEZE THE PURSE

Commandment number five: Thou shalt not deal grudgingly with thy wife. Half of the money is hers. You shalt not ask an accounting of every coin unless you make similar accounting to her. Give each other enough room to breathe and to exercise some individuality. "I feel smoothered" is the way that some one wives put it. They may say, "I've been on my own for ten years and now that I'm married, I have to give my husband an accounting of every coin I spend and every moment of my time. I feel like I'm a little girl who has to report to her daddy."

Money in marriage - or the lack of it, as the case may be - is the number one problem in marriage. But it is like the tip of the icebeg that hides deeper insecurities and frustrations. Money problems are one of the first symptoms of deeper frustrations. It's wise to try to let each other be individuals who love each other and are commited to the oneness of marriage which God designs. Give each other enough room to breathe and breathing room includes finances within reason.

6. LEAD THE WAY IN DICIPLINE

And now the sixth commandment for your husbands. Thou shalt cooperate with thy wife in establishing family dicipline. Wives are quick to say that this is one of the three greatest areas of concern. When Christian Family magazine recently interviewed a cross section of Christian families weret he same as secular ones, they found that the first area od concern was in knowing how to effectively communicate. The second, how to convey christian values to their children. The thrid, how to effectively dicipline their children.

Divide the conquer is not only an age-old tactic in walfare, but it is also the subtle strategy of small fry who have never heard a war colleges and nuetron bombs. These pint-sized little cherubs who stand barely higher than your knee are shrewd in playing parents against each other. Kids know that if they can play parents against each other, they've won the battle. Discipline is one of the tender areas of a couple's relationship. Listen, Dads, don't you leave the discipline to your wife, and don't you dare to fail in backing her up if you want to make your a happy home. Enough said!

7. EAT IT AND LOVE IT

Commandment number seven: Thou shalt not complain thy wife's cooking for it will be as discord in thy household harmony. A little boy who sat listening to his father's complain't about the evening meal, with the innocence of a four-year-old, said, "Daddy, did God hear us when we prayed a little while ago before we began to eating?" The father snapped, "Of course, son!" Then the boy asked, "Did he hear what you just said, Daddy...?" Falling into the snare of his own words, the father answered, "Certainly!" "Well then, Daddy," said a little bot, "Which is He going to believe?"

The college that I attended had a student handbook and listed among the rules for student was the folowing: "Contructive suggestion are appreciated; griping will not be tolerated." They meant it, too! They had discovered that a complaining, destructive spirit is contagious and can ruin a student body, but positive suggestions can make a campus a better place for everyone.

8. LEAVE YOUR GLOOM AT WORK

Number eight of ten commandment for husbanbds: Thou shalt enter into thy house with cheerfullness. Always remember that your wife thought she married a man, not a bear. You may have heard of the man who never took of his hat, that is, until he swept his wife into his arms and had given her a kiss as he came home each evening. "Well, can't a man come into his own home and just be at home?" Sure you can, men! But try showing the same courtesy and respect to the members of your own family that you havefor the folks at the office. Your home should be like a castle where you can retreat at the end of a day and leave the world behind, but it is a lot more pleasant place to live in if you can bring a little sunshine through the door with you. Sunshine is contagious! But gloom clouds showere depression!

9. HANG TOGETHER

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